I have an idea for a new feature to our web site. A few years ago I started submitting rants. By "submit" I mean I send them to Lars and he puts them on the web site. I ranted thrice in 2 years time and Lars, once. I haven't ranted anything in over a year because, quite frankly, I'm pretty happy about everything. I've got a job I don't hate. I've got a girl who is great. I'm in my ideal band, and I am very much content to let the world end and laugh while the Loser Majority slowly kills each other off.

In retrospect, the rants I wrote were really "blogs" or what would become blogs or what were already blogs at the time and I was just out of touch with what The Internet Kids were doing.

Regardless, blogs suck now so I'm going to try to do something else until everyone starts doing THAT or I get really bored, lazy, or distracted, whichever comes first.

So here's what I'm going to try to do: For the past 17 years I have carried a small notebook around with me at all times in my back pocket. I plop down profound thoughts in it once I get that special buzz on–ideas, mostly. Thoughts that I want to remember later but never do, even when I CAN decipher my own handwriting and figure out what the HELL I meant by "tyranny of fish."

But the majority of it is crap–just like the majority of peoples daily public journals are crap. So I'm going to edit the bus schedules, to-do lists and food orders, but keep the bad comedy, weak poetry, philosophical insights, and million dollar ideas and submit them here.

I realize that this makes me come across as being terribly self-important. But isn't that what the internet is all about? (At least in these infant cyber stages.) Chat-room-handled, quasi-introverts shouting at strangers from the bravery of a car as they speed down the internet highway? The internet gives everyone instant self-esteem like a big car once gave it's proprietor the illusion of a big cock.

But rest assured, I'm quite grounded in knowing that I can be–at times–a dickhead.

{Excerpts from Larry's notebook Jan-05 -- June 05}

the thing about travel is

that you leave everything behind.

your house, your furniture,

your forks.

you leave everything behind

mentally as well.

your responsibilities, your bus pass

and sometimes your girlfriend.

where does the mind wander

without those precious things?

Travel makes you wonder

what is wonderful,

this wander.

PUB TRICK

going out with a bartendress

must be close to,

if not akin to,

dating a stripper.

which means at any time

said attraction

can be either imagined

or real

depending on the outcome

of the beer.

CELL FISH

girls can sit in bars alone

if they're talking on their cell phone

the courage of connection

(when you want it)

fearful pride before fearless lies

how many bars do you have?

Love is easier than Like

Bar room pool provides people who drink a constant chance to prove themselves.

11 Reasons Why The World is Fucked

1) I forget
2) The reason people change when they get older is due to self-preservation.
3) See 1

Million Dollar Idea (MDI):

A cooking show on the radio. Morning drive time. Combine it with prototypical AM-DJ banter. Would the sounds of sizzling bacon and frying eggs help wake people up? If the sexual descriptions of a Howard Stern are provocative enough to evoke success, so would be the verbal lust for a gourmet breakfast. The kissing cousin of sex is food.

The Model is The Land of Misfit Toys Bar where all the misfit toys want to be in a fit.

Comedy: A rapper called "The Rack" whose "bling" consists of an actual triangular pool rack around his neck.

Another name for "Pool:." Do you wanna play Big Marbles with Sticks?

PFT West Coast is full of shit. The whole Satan worship thing in rock-n-roll is a lie. They don't believe in The Devil any more than I believe in The God. We're just not writing songs that say "Go God." The fact is that Satan sells more than God. It's an easy strategy to espouse. People suck, individuals rule; everybody knows this! Humanity is more a poison than a rite. But there are flowers. There are flowers...

The majority of all the work that is done in this world gets done when people don't feel like doing it.

Steven Spielberg must be a pedophile. I bet he screen tests 300 children per movie. Even Schindler's List had a little girl in it. In color! He's either a pedophile with a portfolio of all the possible "next big kid"'s or his formula for success includes pandering to American audience's trendy and easy emotional obsession with the "sanctity of children." Either way, somebody is getting raped.

"I know I'm a dickhead. I know nothing means anything."

The Heirarchy of Pop Music by Talent

ORIGNAL BAND

COVER BAND

TRIBUTE BAND

VOCALS PLUS SAMPLES BAND

AMERICAN IDOL

KAROAKE

AIR GUITAR

Just wait until air-guitarists get signed and start putting out albums. Then, I will laugh.